Yer Gunna Wanna
There's not much that'll make me not wanna do something faster then when someone says, “Yer gunna wanna...” When did this bizarre form of instruction become fashionable? I hear it all the time lately.
Seriously, watch a YouTube video on how to do something sometime and see for yourself. I was just looking up how to install one of those over-the-stove microwaves (don't ask) (okay, you wore me down – the bloody thing has been sitting on my living room floor for two months!! Not that I'm blaming anyone who is married to me or anything...). I went to YouTube to find out how to do it. I watched three different videos that all had, I'm sure, lovely instructions. I can't say for sure, because by the 93rd time I'd heard, “yer gunna wanna...” I smashed my keyboard to smithereens.
How the hell do they know what I'm gunna wanna do? They don't even know me! What if I don't wanna at all? What if I'm only doing this because I've had it up to here with stubbing my toes on my microwave? Truth is, I don't wanna. I want someone else to gunna it. Oh lord...my brain is malfunctioning again.
Since when do we give instructions in this weird manner? You ask someone for directions (well, the females among us do) and they immediately start with “Yer gunna wanna go down to the second stop light and yer gunna wanna make a left...” I've heard you can be charged with something called "vehicular assault" if you run over someone's foot on purpose. I'm not really sure how they'd prove intent, though.
I attempted to watch a cooking show the other day (I figured it was time I learned to cook in case Mr. Boots kicks the bucket). The show was hosted by some 16-year-old (or so) cheerleader/bimbo who bounced around the kitchen saying things like "yer gunna wanna whisk this..." and "yer gunna wanna put it in the oven...." I couldn't take it. I had to shut the tv off before I was gunna needa new one.
Whatever happened to giving instructions thusly: “First, you take a handful of sand. Then, you shove it in your bathing suit. Next, you grip the fabric firmly and...” See? Not a gunna wanna in the place!
Well, I've gotta go now. It seems I'm gunna wanna go ahead and install a new keyboard. Oh, and that's another one!! “Go ahead and...” Where the hell else am I gunna wanna go?
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Comments
SEC
Retreat!
February 25, 2013BootLady
I don’t blame ya, SEC. Just venting some negative energy here.
February 25, 2013jwcj
Good God BootLady that sounds as bad as when I was younger my buddies would dare me to do something and that would make it mandatory !!! hehe
February 25, 2013BootLady
Exactly, jw. Presume to know my mind at your peril!
February 25, 2013jwcj
Hehehe Heck if you listen to the things I say you will know me inside and out in just three easy visits !!! hehe
February 25, 2013DouglasMB
hey… when you travel outside the country and your not familure with their “bird pest controll” your gonna wanna bring ear protection just in case you run into any BIRD CANNONS!!!!
February 25, 2013DouglasMB
and i dont give two shakes of a lambs tail what you say… i know you well enough to know… your gonna wanna do it ;P
February 25, 2013BootLady
I know where you live, buster!
February 25, 2013DouglasMB
ive got google earth… i know where you live too… and I can get ahold of lots and lots of Violets to plant in your yard… and maybe even an add in your local paper “new home in search of wayward cats… newest cat shelter in area we rehab what others leave behind” hahahaha oh i am evil today
February 25, 2013BootLady
Today? Pffft!
February 25, 2013uncle_charlie
I’m gunna wanna beer after readin this……..
February 25, 2013BootLady
I hear that!
February 26, 2013pastormike
I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna wanna pee..
February 25, 2013BootLady
I hate it when that happens
February 26, 2013pastormike
I’m hoping to hold off Depends awhile longer..
February 26, 2013skippy1957
well, yer gunna wanna get a professional micro wave installer, or your gunna wanna get a new ……………
February 25, 2013Poor Mr. Boots, I don’t know how he does it, I think he’s gunna wanna trade for a couple of 21’s but then, who knows, he might actually like you…………imaginge that!
BootLady
He has to like me! I told him so!
February 26, 2013sharnsgarden
Australian definition of a “gunna” somebody (usually a male) who repeated say’s I’m gunna do that someday, I’m gunna fix it, I was gunna do that why did you pay someone to fix it etc, they never get around to doing it, so I see the logic in using gunna wonta it’s targeting all the gunna’s out there that never do anything, those utubes were probably made by a fix it company based in Australia
February 26, 2013BootLady
It makes perfect sense now!
February 26, 2013dreamshadow59
It;s funny, I read your posts and I have to take a step back and ask if my SISTER is actually writing these. OK, now THAT’S odd because I don’t HAVE a sister but the WAY you write is VERY similar to the way in which I do. That being said, I LOVE your writing. I just wonder if it’s because we are kindred spirits OR if you are ME in a different time zone…Hmmmm…Scratches head…Interesting. Oh…Great Post by the way…
February 26, 2013DouglasMB
Boots has been around so long… Moses got her to spell check the tablets… but really she is pretty awesome the best part is her writing style is no style really… just boots being boots… one of what I consider close to the “original” thoughts people… there is no one else like her in the world… maybe on mars… but deffinatly not on earth hahaha
February 26, 2013dreamshadow59
I agree…I just Love her humor.
February 26, 2013BootLady
Oh stop, you two! Geez! You’ll swell up my head then I’ll just be y’know, like one of those other swollen head arseholes we’re so tired of. (Thanks, dreamie!)
February 26, 2013dreamshadow59
My pleasure Boots…Great to have you back…
February 26, 2013roe
I betcha you’re gonna want me to finish the rest of this comment in Spanish?
February 27, 2013BootLady
If you wouldn’t mind…
February 27, 2013Moxi
LOL. This is almost as bad as my peeve lately with the word “folks”. I have heard so many people public speaking at workshops using the term “folks” and I wonder what century are they from or from what country town. Us folks don’t talk like that! Now imagine if you folks are gunna wanna install that microwave…
February 27, 2013BootLady
I have to admit, I prefer “folks” to “peeps.” The microwave…ugh…I’m running out of toes to stub.
February 27, 2013Munkyman
If yer from the South, “yer gonna wanna” has been around a looong time.
February 27, 2013BootLady
It must have taken its time to get up to Canuckland. I’m gunna wanna go ahead and send it back now.
February 27, 2013Munkyman
ya, you can keep it awhile… aye?
February 27, 2013